27 december 2007 (at my desk in the office)
first thing: this was my friendster horoscope for today:
The Bottom Line
Has someone been putting you under pressure to be perfect lately? Just ignore them.
In Detail
Has someone been putting you under pressure to be perfect lately? Ignore them. Shake loose of their appraising gaze and invite them to focus on someone else for a while -- like themselves. You add sunshine into the lives of most of the people you touch, so why worry about one person who is still stuck in the own fog? Let go of the few missteps you have been making -- after all, everyone else who matters already has. Reorganize your social circle to leave unhealthy people outside of it.
wuahahaha...gotcha! sight,
what a prediction!
ok, lanjut...these were the odds things that i would like to share
"I still had enough pride to stop my self from foolishly smiling at people who offered no smile in return" (kalimat ini dikutip dari novel "The Sirens of Baghdad, karya Yasmina Khadra, halaman 178-full review plis kindly read at djakarta! magazine vol.103, released january 15th 2008): Kalimat ini gw baca pas di kereta dan bikin gw senyum sendiri. You know what, i did it sometimes.
I smile at randomly people and what i got? nothing. Not even to smile back, people even starred at me wondering what the hell this weird girl smilled at me? Wuahaha, i dont know that nowadays even smile can make people negatively wondered. I just try to be polite and friendly, and they think i'm a criminal or terrorist, huehehe. So, stop smiling at randomly people, Margie, you scared them, you smile only at people you know. OKAY!
..........................................................................................................................
Yesterday night, my family was soo busy. We even slept later than usual. It was simply because my sister bought a new car and she has to park it in my house. My mum was excited since we never had a ca
r before (well, my first sister already had a car in Bali, but my mum couldn't attend the first day she brought it at home). So, we were busy managing the parking space in front of my house (which is very small). At the end, there was not enough space to park it, so we have to let the door gate opened so the car can get in.
You probably laugh at me and my family about this car stuff...well, it's ok. It just that, my family never imagine we can live like nowadays (we are building our new house now-in the process- and even have two cars in family). It was something huge for us, it was like a blessing). If only you know how we lived about ten or eleven years ago................................................................................................
It was 1995
My grandfather house was sold. My family lived there for almost i can remember. So, after that we only could rent a house. For a year and two, we lived normally. Until 1997, my father lost all the money we had in his project. It was the same time with our rental deadline. We couldn't afford to extend our rent. So we had to move. But where? At that time, my family wasn't united. My sisters blamed this mess up on my father. My first sister took a decision. She rented a house, she brought me and my other sister but my parents couldn't stay with us. So, my parents lived with my mother's friend. They became a parasite in that house but they didn't have any choice. So, they hang on about two years. Still, our family didn't have a home. So, i didn't even know what 'home sweet home' mean. I was sad. We lived poor but we never live separately before. Every Saturday i visited my parents. I bought snacks for my father, he was very skinny. My mum had suddenly lot of wrinkles in her face. But they sticked together, so i thought they were happy (as they could be).
Meanwhile, my sister rent a better house, it was even a luxurious (for us). The house with two stages, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a front yard and backyard, and we even had a carport (of course no car). My sister allowed my parents to visit us, so i was very happy at that time (even though i collapsed two times and got sick because i ate only instant noodle day
by day that my sister could only provide-it was ok, it just my stomach got spoiled...).
In 1998, something happened with my first sister. It changed her life completely, ours too. Well, it's a different story anyway (this incident-am i using the right term?- made me feel regret for the rest of my life: i left my sister, i abandonned her which i shouldn't be, i never forgive my self). The point is we never really had a home, even until now (2007). But our life is getting better day by day, year by year. We passed a lot of dramatic moments, but we passed it alright. We broke up with our big family, but we managed to reconcile again. We lost our lovely father in 2003 (it was a big shock for me for long time) and yet we haven't given a house to him. He passed away because of his illness but my mum and my sisters did everything to give him the best treatment at his last moments. So, we never regret, we did the best we can.
We really gathered again probably in 2004. Life has getting better. My sisters, me and my mum really connect again. And we started to rebuild our life again, step by tep. Now, i can eat anything i want with my mum, buy anything we need. My sister has a prosper life in Bali, she has a car, and a beautiful house (rent). My second sister got married and had a lovely healthy boy, named Aldan (with a house and a car). My third sister who stayed in Surabaya rend a nice house with her husband and lovely girl, named Amadea (their new house was destroyed by Lumpur Lapindo in May 2006-she stressed out but she was ok then. Well, we've been in condition homeless, so yeah we're fine, hehehe). And now we are building a house (yeeeeyyy, hooooraaayyyyyyy-well my sister pay everything, but she said that it was for my mum-), aaaand we have two cars (even though i still dont know how to drive, hihi). So, you guys can understand how my family became sooo enthousiastic with this blessing things (cars, house, wealthy and everything)?! Well, i just try to enjoy the moment...( oops it's already 5 o'clock, gotta go to Plasa Semanggi to buy a blackjeans...hmm, i can even buy favourite things for my self with my own money, TQ GOD).
I will continue this...don't miss me :)
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